Reacting vs Responding

A reaction is instant, it is survival-oriented and is a defence mechanism, it comes from our reptilian brain, which is good in a crisis, we just don’t want it running the show. Reactions are emotionally charged and leave us unable to hear what the other person is trying to convey. Reacting is dis-empowering. Responding takes into consideration when, how and … Read More

Bumps in the Road – Relationship Tips for Men

When you started out was your relationship easy, you couldn’t put a foot wrong? Now that some time has passed, the road is getting rocky and you just don’t have the tools to cope.   Do you find you’re drinking more, avoiding going home and looking for the answers with your mates or flirting more with that cute girl from … Read More

It’s Not What You Said, It’s What I Heard

All the information we receive is filtered through our own life experiences. It could be what we hear, what we see, what we touch and what we smell. Some of our senses will trigger vivid memories, while others will trigger past experiences, both joyful and painful. These memories are stored in our mammalian brain / limbic system, that connect events … Read More

The Tyranny of “Should”

Have you ever been told what you “should” be doing, thinking, feeling, saying or how you “should” behave, respond or look? Maybe you find yourself telling others what they “should” do, feel or think. You may be aware of your own “should’s”, those times you tell yourself how you “should” feel, act or behave in any given situation. Should’s are … Read More

What Just Happened?

Do you ever stop after a conversation and wonder “what just happened?”. You may have been left feeling angry, sad, defeated or victorious; you may feel good or bad about yourself or somewhere in between, depending on the level of intensity. Our relational patterns and the often-familiar dynamic we find our self in relationships, have been formed at a time … Read More

Core Beliefs, Communication and Relationships

Our negative core beliefs, sometimes called emotional wounds or triggers, act as filters to how we experience and interpret our world day to day. Negative beliefs or wounds are often partly unconscious and shape our views and interpretation of reality without even knowing it. Core beliefs, both positive and negative, come from the sum of our past experiences. From birth, … Read More

The Opposite of Addiction is Connection

Addictions are destructive not only for the addict, they destroy families, alienate friends and their impact fans out to the wider society. So, could strengthening human connections immunise us against emotional distress? Addressing the core problem, not the symptoms is not a new concept and there has been a long standing correlation between addiction treatment and addressing past trauma, especially … Read More

It’s OK to Ask for Help

There is a cultural shift happening around mental health, the stigma of being mentally unwell is slowly being chipped away, and we have those individuals willing to speak up to thank for this change to our national psyche. We are hearing more and more stories from celebrities and sports personalities about managing their mental health and career. In the case … Read More

How Well Do You Take a Compliment

As Australians, we are taught from an early age that talking about ourselves is considered a no-no, it’s the tall poppy syndrome we’ve inherited from our convict past. The upside of this is generally Aussies are down to earth, no-nonsense types, the down side is we miss out on positive reinforcement and acts of kindness from others. Avoiding or dismissing … Read More