What is Therapy?

Counselling/Psychotherapy is a talk therapy that focuses on a person’s mental, emotional, relational and spiritual health and wellbeing. A Psychotherapist engages with a person in a co-created process of deep listening, relating and empathic exploration of experience to discover possibilities for growth, change and healing. A key element of the practice of Psychotherapy is the interpersonal relationship between the Therapist … Read More

Loneliness is More than a State of Mind

Loneliness is a state of disconnection from the community, or a lack of connection to community. Loneliness may serve as a social pain to protect people from the dangers of being isolated. It may serve as a prompt to change behaviour, to pay more attention to relationships which are needed for survival. This notion of loneliness was a hardwired survival … Read More

Loss is the Shadow of All Possessions

To more fully understand the experience of loss, it is helpful to understand it’s universality in human life. In a sense, we lose something along each step of life’s journey, from the concrete losses of people, places and objects we have come to cherish, to the more immaterial and equally significant loss of our youth, dreams or ideals as we … Read More

Reacting vs Responding

A reaction is instant, it is survival-oriented and is a defence mechanism, it comes from our reptilian brain, which is good in a crisis, we just don’t want it running the show. Reactions are emotionally charged and leave us unable to hear what the other person is trying to convey. Reacting is dis-empowering. Responding takes into consideration when, how and … Read More

Bumps in the Road – Relationship Tips for Men

When you started out was your relationship easy, you couldn’t put a foot wrong? Now that some time has passed, the road is getting rocky and you just don’t have the tools to cope.   Do you find you’re drinking more, avoiding going home and looking for the answers with your mates or flirting more with that cute girl from … Read More

It’s Not What You Said, It’s What I Heard

All the information we receive is filtered through our own life experiences. It could be what we hear, what we see, what we touch and what we smell. Some of our senses will trigger vivid memories, while others will trigger past experiences, both joyful and painful. These memories are stored in our mammalian brain / limbic system, that connect events … Read More

The Tyranny of “Should”

Have you ever been told what you “should” be doing, thinking, feeling, saying or how you “should” behave, respond or look? Maybe you find yourself telling others what they “should” do, feel or think. You may be aware of your own “should’s”, those times you tell yourself how you “should” feel, act or behave in any given situation. Should’s are … Read More

What Just Happened?

Do you ever stop after a conversation and wonder “what just happened?”. You may have been left feeling angry, sad, defeated or victorious; you may feel good or bad about yourself or somewhere in between, depending on the level of intensity. Our relational patterns and the often-familiar dynamic we find our self in relationships, have been formed at a time … Read More

Core Beliefs, Communication and Relationships

Our negative core beliefs, sometimes called emotional wounds or triggers, act as filters to how we experience and interpret our world day to day. Negative beliefs or wounds are often partly unconscious and shape our views and interpretation of reality without even knowing it. Core beliefs, both positive and negative, come from the sum of our past experiences. From birth, … Read More

The Opposite of Addiction is Connection

Addictions are destructive not only for the addict, they destroy families, alienate friends and their impact fans out to the wider society. So, could strengthening human connections immunise us against emotional distress? Addressing the core problem, not the symptoms is not a new concept and there has been a long standing correlation between addiction treatment and addressing past trauma, especially … Read More