When you started out was your relationship easy, you couldn’t put a foot wrong? Now that some time has passed, the road is getting rocky and you just don’t have the tools to cope.
Do you find you’re drinking more, avoiding going home and looking for the answers with your mates or flirting more with that cute girl from the coffee shop? Sometimes it can be hard trying to navigate a relationship, having to talk about your feelings, get vulnerable, remain strong and true to yourself all at the same time, it can be like travelling to a foreign land.
It doesn’t make it any easier when the love of your life is frosty towards you and sex doesn’t solve all your relationship problems. What do you do when the usual method of avoiding is not working, neither is withdrawing or getting angry? That leaves only one other option, communication, and for men, that’s where things can get messy, we want to tackle a problem, fix it and move on.
Here are 4 tips to improve communication;
- Make time to talk without the distraction of Phone, internet or TV, not having somewhere to go straight afterwards and allow time by yourself to decompress after work.
- Give her the opportunity to express her emotions without taking it personally and resist your innate desire to breakout the toolkit and start the repairs. It’s not about fixing, it’s about listening, perhaps the most important and overlooked aspect of communication.
- Take a risk, be honest about how you feel, not what you think. Thinking is about your head, feeling is about your emotions. Men are praised for their strength and courage and their feeling often get little attention, yet a man in touch with his feeling will have more honest and fulfilling relationships.
- Make a commitment to your ongoing open and honest communication, have a sense of your own needs, because the only way to have the relationship you want is to be an active participant.